Are you trying to represent yourself? If so, I know how you feel. It’s so hard to represent yourself well. You worry about what other people think about you. Whether you are perceived as strong or weak. You strategize about how to get what you want and when you come up short, anger and bitterness follow. Does this ring a bell? I’m very familiar with the level of manipulation skill that it takes to represent yourself well.
Why not give it up? It costs too much and yields too little. It’s a fool’s game because nobody ever wins. If you want to stop the struggle, then just change your focus and begin to represent Jesus. Walk away from your cause and take up His cause. His work is easy, and His burden is light. He is gentle and humble. Is there anything that you could do right now that would represent the gentle, humble, and lighthearted Christ? I’ll bet there is! And if you take just a moment to ask Him, I think you’d be surprised at how quickly you could change course.
There is something gentle you could do, something humble or lighthearted that would make His day. Someone needs your gentleness, forgiveness, kindness, a word, or simple action that heals or brings relief to a tough situation. Someone needs to know that you care about them. Even more, someone needs to know that God cares about them and you can represent Him. In fact, if we would all just give up the fight for our own (fill in the blank) and think more about the needs of others, we would soon find ourselves representing Jesus and representing Him very well.